Isn’t it interesting how things you hear can trigger such emotion?? I was listening to the latest installment of Radio Free Burrito, Wil Wheaton’s podcast and the last thing he was talking about was the blooper reel that will be on the upcoming Star Trek: The Next Generation 3rd season Blu-Ray release. He was relating how by the third season the cast was a pretty close knit group and if they messed up they would laugh it off and reset the scene. All if them except Wil, who would be come frustrated and apologize and be angry with himself from screwing up. He was 15 or 16 at the time. What also contributed to the frustration was that by this time Wesley’s role had been reduced to “aye sir” and a lot of technobabble as he likes to call it. This fact was a foolish teenage factor is asking to be written off the show in the subsequent season.
He said something at the end of the podcast that really struck a nerve with me. He talked about how his teenage self was doing the best he could and maybe one day being able to make peace with that. I related this back to my own life with my own frustration in my job. It caused me to cry.
I am nearly 42 years old and I am a relatively new second career RN. I am a former Respiratory therapist of 12 years. I knew that job and did that job well. Graduating April 2012 and finding a job finally in August, starting in September that year. I have been off orientation since December 9th and have working with 5-6 patients each shift since then. Nursing is a tough job and a job that I have only scratched the surface of.
Each shift, that job is a struggle. Each shift is different. Different patients, acuities, med schedules, some pain management some not, some total care some not. While it is nice to have a routine most of the time it is not possible as things are thrown at you from Left field much of the time.
Anyway, I know I am doing the best I can do but at the same time I do not feel as if my best is good enough and that is so frustrating. When I get behind, I stress. It’s a horrible feeling to know you are doing what you can but still feeling inadequate.
So that podcast really struck a nerve with me today. It helped give me hope that not only will I become better at my job but also that I may one day Buble to make peace with these times as they are now